Can Somebody Fart or Sneaze in His Sleep?

I probably never understand why people want to camp out a store on Thanksgiving night waiting for the store to open on Friday morning, sometimes even risking their lives. That’s okay. There are so many things that I don’t understand in this world anyway. This might be the least important items on a very long list. To better understand the world, I have been reading a The Straight Dope book, that I checked out from the library. It gives me a few chuckles when I am on an elliptical machine in the gym. So far, I have not fall off a machine yet, but I did learn a thing or two. For example, I have learned the answers for questions like: If you burp, fart, and sneeze at the same time, will you die? Which end of the egg comes out of the chicken first? How did "gay" come to mean "homosexual?" What is the term for people who lack the sense of taste? Tasteless? …… However, I am not sure if my question gets asked or answered yet: Can somebody sneeze or fart in his sleep? I will sleep on that tonight. I spent the Thanksgiving at Tony’s (another Tony), overlooking the foggy city from Twin Peaks. I had a lot fun. At one point, I said to Calvin: "When I touch mine, it is fun. But when I couch yours, or touch my friends’, there always a problem." People started to laugh, because they didn’t realize that I was talking about the touch screen input on my phone and on their iPhones. I will keep my hands to myself. I had plenty to drink and eat at Tony’s, even I didn’t cook on Thanksgiving Day at all. I thought about making mash potato, but then I changed my mind. Because if I carried the mash potato over, it would be cold. Reheated mash potato is just not the same as the freshly made. I want to retain my reputation. Scratch that. I was lazy and didn’t want to make things complicated. However, that doesn’t mean that I have not been cooking. Even I almost going to movies every night, I still manage to make some kimchi the other night. All from scratch, inspired by a recipe. Being myself, I can never really follow a recipe entirely. So, this is MY version of kimchi. I blend garlic, ginger root, onion etc in a food processor. Then add chili powder, sweet rice paste, and chop all the vegetables such as cucumber, turnip, chive, and kohlrabi. Mix together, and put in the big jar. There I have it. Next to my kimchi is a big jar of salty eggs I made couple days earlier. Now I am like a squirrel, stock up all the goodies and ready for the winter. However, one disappointment I have is that the kimchi I made (on the left) doesn’t seem as red as the kimchi I bought from a store (the right). It’s either the chili powder I got is not red enough, or the one I bought has added food color. Luckily, they all taste delicious and very spicy. This morning, when everybody else going crazy shopping, I was sleeping and got up really late. That’s what I call a day off. I didn’t do much either except going to the gym and shopping for groceries. I love it. At night, I made some chicken wings I marinated last night. It was delicious. It’s great that after two days off, the weekend just started. I hope that it will be warm and clear on Sunday so I can hike in Marin Headlands and lie down on the beach before I head to the screening of "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus" (staring late Heath Ledger as Tony) in the evening. Time for some action. Red Cliff (赤壁) Almost every Chinese has heard, if not read, the classic novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms (三国演义) which was written in the 14th century. The novel is about the civil war among three war lords that took place more than a thousand year ago—at the end of the Han Dynasty (汉朝 206 BC – 220 AD). After the novel, those historical figures become household names, such as intelligent Zhuge Liang (诸葛亮), boorish Zhang Fei (张飞), sensitive Liu Bei (刘备), devoted Guan Yu (关羽), bright Zhou Yu (周瑜), and arrogant Cao Cao (曹操). They have appeared in numerous plays and literatures for hundreds of years, and everybody seems have his own images in mind about them. If the novel is made into a motion picture, anything short of a grand epic is unjustified. Legendary director John Woo‘s (吴宇森) "Red Cliff" (赤壁 | China 2009 | in Chinese | 148 min.) takes up the challenge and tells the thousand-year-old story to the world audience. With a budget more than $80 million, this is the most expensive film ever made in Asian. It is impossible for one feature film to tell all the stories in Romance of the Three Kingdoms (CCTV‘s TV serial has 84-episode). John Woo chooses the best known Battle of Red Cliffs (赤壁之战) to make his film. Actually, he made two films: "Red Cliff" (赤壁 | China 2008 | 140 min.) and "Red Cliff: Part II" (赤壁 : 决战天下 | China 2009 | 142 min.). However, John Woo wants to tell the story to audiences in the entire world, even they are not familiar with that period of Chinese history and with those war warriors. Therefore, for the Western world, including the US, he combines these two films into one "Red Cliff" to be released, cutting the running time into half. The combine version is faster paced and the story line is easier to follow, without losing any spectacular battle scene. In 208 A.D., ambitious Cao Cao (Zhang Fengyi), the Primary Minister of Eastern Han Dynasty, leads millions of well-equipped soldiers to invade much weaker warlords Sun Quan (Chang Chen) and Liu Bei (You Yong). In order to fight Cao Cao, Liu Bei sends his chief advisor Zhuge Liang (Takeshi Kaneshiro) to convince Sun Quan that making an alliance is the only way to confront Cao Cao. Relying on intelligence, opportunities, the higher morale, and the art of war, even with smaller army, the alliance defeats Cao Cao in this historical battle. John Woo is a master of choreographing splendid fighting sequence, even in the most chaotic settings. Although Battle of Red Cliffs is a great story to begin with, John Woo magically brings that piece of history to the modern world one more time with fantastic art design and vivid imagination. One should see this film only on a big screen to fully appreciate its magnificent scale. (In that regard, playing any film on a tiny screen in an aircraft should be a crime.) "Red Cliff" opens on Wednesday, November 25, 2009 at Bay Area theaters.