My Own Bailout Plans

I have been resisting the urge to take a look at the balance of my 401(k) account, because I know the number won’t be good. Well… curiousity killed the cat. I took a look at it couple days ago. Wholly crap! I have lost 32% since the beginning of this year. But I am not too worried about it. I can’t get to that money right now anyway, so hopefully, I will ride out this economic storm and the paper money regains its value. I certainly hope so, even nothing in the economy points to the right direction right now. The government has been busy on throwing in billions, if not trillions, of dollars to bailout all the big corporations. I am afraid that people like me as a tax payer will ultimately have to pay the bill. I am definitely not happy about it, and there is little I can do to change that. I can quit my job so I don’t have to pay income tax. That way, I might get some my tax dollars back. That will be extreme, but I can leave that option open. Frankly, besides my 401(k) going down, the current economical crisis has little impact on me. Therefore, I have the luxury to sit back and bitch about the government’s incompetent moves, while having a cup of tea in hand. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t get myself prepared. Even it’s extremely unlikely that my job will be in danger, I have all figured out my own bailout plans, since I cannot rely on the government to bail me out if I am in trouble. So far, I have two bailout plans. Plan A: Join the PLA Considering how many Chinese youth available, I will definitely face a stiff competition to join the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) in China. However, that’s perfectly fine with me because I will be more likely to join for the recruiting process, because it looks totally fun to try. How would I find a chance to play this game shown in this picture with other recruits otherwise? If that fails (and I am sure I will), I have Plan B. Plan B: Join the Workforce of Sperm Bank in China It’s unfortunate that so many sperms are wasted every second in this world. I will work to change that for a better tomorrow. I will join the workforce of sperm bank in China to collecting sperms that otherwise would be wasted. After I see these pictures about how the sperm bank collects sperms in China, I see opportunities. Obviously the gender imbalance in collecting sperms needs to be addressed before Chinese Sperm Bank gets sued for gender discrimination. My joining their workforce will begin to change that situation. Plus, I am probably more qualified than those nurses shown in the pictures. I am gentle and experienced. Besides, I am sure that I will love that new job. So, regardless how bad the economy goes, I have myself all prepared, and I am ready for the new exciting challenges. Today is Thanksgiving, but I am not cooking, for a change. I will go to Kai and Rob’s Thanksgiving dinner. I hope I won’t see this turkey singing I will survive on their table. I am ready for holidays, parties, new job opportunities, holiday breaks, my new TV, and a bright tomorrow. I am very thankful.